Alone, Tired, and Quiet
by drunkenscallywag
Summary: I will not see you again for I can not bare to be the cause of your death, nor any other demise. Please understand that if you are to return to Port Royale or be found with a naval officer you are to be shot on the spot..."
1. Visitor

James sat in his rather large estate. He sat, recounting events that had long passed. He sat, alone. Alone, tired and quiet. As was the story of his life as of late. He picked up a letter from his desk and read it, the ink fading as the seconds passed and memories resurfaced. The letter was of his own handwriting in the beginning and another's reply at the bottom.   
  
He read the words he had written, each word stinging as he did so, "I will not see you again for I can not bare to be the cause of your death, nor any other demise. Please understand that if you are to return to Port Royale or be found with a naval officer you are to be shot on the spot. Jack, you know I would give all that I have left of me to make it untrue, but alas I can not. I will think of you always and love you even longer. Yours Forevermore, James."  
  
The other had written back, only James had not received it until the others untimely demise. James got up, going to the wall cabinet and pulled out a green tinted bottle, carrying it back to his seat. He opened it, the smell of rum wafting to his nose. The smell of Jack invading his mind. He sat back, recounting the reasons why Jack was gone.  
  
It had been three months since James had sent the letter out and he stood on duty at the fort anxiously awaiting its reply. But, the postman came and left as he did everyday for the past three months without any reply. James sighed, removing his hat and wig, his shift was over and he returned to his office.   
  
Upon entering his office James sat in the chair by the window and propped his feet up on the oak sill. He looked out, seeing the docks and the sea. He longed to be out on the sea again, pursuing Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew of miscreants. James squinted spotting something out of the ordinary drifting along the waters. He stood heading outside to the docks.  
  
James stood, squinting, "A dinghy?" He spoke to himself, "What on earth is that person doing. They're out of their heads." He paused, "Out of their heads?" Jack.  
  
His cheeks flustered and his heart rate quickened as the thought of the pirate invaded his privacy. James adjusted his voice and willed his cheeks back to their paler, more natural color. The dinghy approached the dock James was on and then James began to get scared. What if someone saw Jack? He had to hide Jack from everyone.   
  
James quickly walked Jack to his office, avoiding everyone he could. He shut the door behind him, "Jack, have you lost your head? I told you if anyone saw you here you'd be dead!"  
  
Jack smiled, exposing a few mismatched golden teeth, "It's worth the risk just to see ye once more."  
  
James' heart fluttered and he pecked Jack on the cheek, "We've got to get you out of here."  
  
Jack frowned, "I'm not leaving without you."  
  
James looked to the floor and then to Jack, "If you leave now, I promise I will come after you in a days time."  
  
"No. I mean wha' I said and I said I'm not going to be leaving without ye'. Now are ye' coming or am I going to 'ave to announce that I'm here and receive my short drop and sudden stop you've been promising all this time?"  
  
"No, no." James paused thinking, "How did you get here?"  
  
Jack smirked, "I walked."  
  
James frowned, "The Pearl, I'm assuming."  
  
"'O Course." He twisted his lips into a smile, "I know 'ow to get off 'o 'ere. Did it with young William."  
  
James reached over, grabbing his wig and hat. He placed it on Jack, attempting to hide Jack's dreadlocks, "Camouflage." He gave off a weak smile.   
  
Jack smiled, "Follow me." He headed over to the beach where a few dinghies lay upturned. With James' help he flipped it over and began the walk under the ocean.   
  
"This is-"   
  
Jack interrupted him, "either brilliance or madness, yes I know."  
  
James furrowed his brows and trudged on behind him.  
  
"Almost there Jamie."  
  
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James sighed, pinching the brow of his nose. He got up, opening the windows, inhaling the scent of the ocean. The scent of Jack. He sat back down, alone, tired, and quiet.  
  
James had sat there all night, recounting everything that was. A soft knock sounded at the door and he got up, answering it. He smiled upon seeing the face on the other side.  
  
"Come in." He noted it was raining before closing the door behind his visitor. 


	2. Seduction

"How have you been James?" The female voice fluttered over the commotion of down pouring rain.

He scratched at his unshaven face, "The same as always, alone, tired, but mostly quiet."

She smiled back at him, traveling into the living room and took her seat beside his which was marked by a half empty snifter of brandy. She picked up the snifter and peered into it, "How did I know..." She replaced the snifter and began to chew on one of her elegantly trimmed fingernails. "James, you've got to stop this."

He sat in his chair and watched her silently. James looked at her abruptly, "Stop what Elizabeth?"

She raised a brow and eyed him, "You know what I mean James. Everyone is worried about you. Your always shut up in this damned house, drinking and God knows what else."

"So your father sent you here then."

"No, my father has nothing to do with my business anymore James. I'm all grown up now."

But the truth was she wasn't all grown up and James knew it. Every time she visited him she wanted something from James. Something he wasn't always willing to give her. He sighed, looking back up at her and reached over, pulling the finger from her mouth, "You know I hate it when you do that." He paused, looking to his own calloused hands and untreated nails, "Would you like something to drink?"

She smiled at him, placing her hands in her lap, "Tea as always James." Elizabeth rose after him and followed him into the kitchen, watching him closely.

James bustled about, taking out two cups for tea and placing them delicately on the counter top. He set the water down to boil and stood in front of the sink, staring out of the window. "It's really raining quite hard." His breath came in sharply as he felt two feminine arms wrap around his torso and move to caress his chest. "Elizabeth...what are you doing?"

A smile curled the lips of her mouth as her hands snuck up the front of James' shirt, "Who me?"

James looked into that innocent face she made when he spun around to face her. His lips were pursed, his eyes burning a hole through her, "You know exactly what I mean _Miss Turner_. There was a time in your life when you had the chance. And it's long since passed." He let go of her arm that he had been holding onto rather tightly and brushed quickly past her to pour the water.

Elizabeth sniffled a bit, folding her hands together, attempting to deal with the cold stab of rejection. "James you can't do that." She called after him as he hurried with the cups into the living room.

He spun quickly and cut her off, shoving a steaming cup into her hands, "Oh and what exactly do you plan on doing to me Elizabeth, now that your married to a blacksmith? What exactly do you think Daddy is going to do for his estranged daughter that will effect his Commodore? Nothing." He turned on his heels, "Your nothing to me now." He mumbled as he slumped back into his chair.

Elizabeth almost gasped as she took her cup shakily back to her chair, "I thought you were a gentleman James, thought maybe you knew better than to talk to ladies like that."

James smirked maniacally, "To ladies, yes. But not to fork tongued serpents." He took a few sips before setting the drink down. "Besides, the only reason you're here pestering me is because dear William has locked himself away in the shop again. And the only way to make you feel better is to feel you have some sick and twisted advantage over me. But, you don't. I may be far past my drinking limit tonight, but I can still tell when someone is trying to gain the upper hand on me."

Elizabeth held the warm liquid in her mouth and waited until James finished his retort to swallow it, "I see Jack taught you well."

"Don't." He raised a shaky hand to his forehead, rubbing lightly at his already throbbing temples.

She placed the cup down on the table, only to have her arm grasped by the other. Her eyes slowly traveled up the long, pale arm, to the owner's face.

James looked at her through half cracked eyelids and smiled, "He was a good man."

"Was?" Her brow quirked. "All you've ever told me is that the two of you stopped seeing each other. Conflicting social statuses is, I believe, just what you had told me."

James looked up to her, "No, no that's not it. That's not it at all." He let go of her arm and positioned himself more comfortably in the chair, "Not so long after I tried sneaking from Port with him, I received word he had long since passed." He paused, "Terrible storm out on the sea. He'd been thrown overboard."

Elizabeth touched his hand lightly, "I'm so sorry James. All this time I thought you had just grown to be an old, bitter man. And as for William-"

"William's sadness has nothing to do with Jack." He lifted the half empty snifter from it's place and took a few long sips of it, "That's for him to tell you, not I."

She sighed, resting her chin on her hand and finished her drink, "I'm sorry James, it's time I've left." She rose slowly, smoothing out the creases on her gown.

James got up, handing her the cloak she'd been wearing before and opened the door for her, "Goodnight Beth."

"Beth? No ones called me that since-" She stopped herself, "Well, you know." She went to the front porch, "Goodnight James."

"Goodnight." He closed the door and snifter in hand, traveled to his bedroom. Reaching the door he emptied the contents of the small container and flopped himself onto the bed.

He sat quiet for a long time listening to the rain. The thunder. The humming.

'_The humming?!'_

James bolted upright and listened for a few long moments before giving in to the calling blankets once again.

'_Stop it James, your only torturing yourself.'_

His ears perked up once again as he heard a familiar jingle and hummed tune. From the shadows of the doorway a darkened figure stepped.

"Ello Jamie love."

There was the velvety voice his ears ached to hear, "Jack?" He had lost the will to sit up and settled for leaning on his elbows.

He was quickly answered by the clicking of boots and the hot taste of pirate mouth over his. "Aye, love."

James squirmed back onto the bed, pulling Jack with him. He buried his face in the others chest, running his fingers delicately over it, "Where have you been Jack? I thought you were dead."

"It's a long story love. I'll tell ye' tomorrow."

His face adorned a Commodorial grin as feathered kisses covered his forehead. He snuggled in as close as possible without disappearing into the others being. How he had missed this. The feel of Jack. The smell of Jack. The kiss of Jack.

Sunlight cracked into the room, between the drapes and woke James. Slowly he patted the bed, finding it empty.


	3. Jack?

"Jack?" He called out.

'_I've already lost you once, I can't go through it again...'_

He rose quickly and ran through the house only to return to his room empty handed. No piratical being tagging along. James fell into the blankets, hot, wet anger streaming down his cheeks. His hands turned yellow as he gripped the sheets for comfort.

"Don't cry Jamie love."

He looked around, "Jack?"

"Aye?"

Looking the room over again his brows furrowed, "I can't see you..."

"S'because I'm no really here."

"I'm imagining this then?" He pulled the blankets around himself.

"No, I came to visit ye'. Ye'll see me soon enough though James, don't ye worry about it."

James sighed, "Oh?" He wiped at his face angrily.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elizabeth hurried up the cobbled ground to James' home. It had been days since anyone had seen him or heard of him. Knocking lightly she smiled politely at one of the servants who had let her in.

"James?" Her voice echoed through the home as she traveled up the stairs to his bedroom.

She cracked the door open, peeking her head inside. "James..." She saw him huddled in the corner, toying with something, "James what-" She ran over to him, grabbing the object out of his reach and tossed it to the other side of the room. "James, no!" She fell to the floor, cradling him in her arms.

James reached after the razor and crumpled in her embrace, "I just want to die..." Tears flowed down his beautiful aristocratic face, dark, black hair framing his jaw line. "Just let me die alone. I'm so tired... Let me finally be quiet."

Elizabeth moved, examining the arm he held cradled to his chest, "Oh James, no, what have you done?" The loose, stained shirt was stained with crimson as she pulled up the sleeve. Lightly she ran a finger over the cuts, "What did you do?" Her heart fluttered at the thought of loosing him, "Answer me James!"

He took a deep breath, "I had to practice..."

Elizabeth kicked her shoes off and ripped the bottom of her dress off so she could better move about. She stood, pulling him to his feet and dragged him to the bed. "Oh James..." A few frightened tears traveled down her cheek, only to be wiped away by a much paler, softer, crimson splattered hand. She sniffled, placing a kiss on his hand.

James smiled, "Why are you doing this?" He asked as she tore his shirt from his torso to tie the sleeves above his massacred arm.

"Because I care." She frowned, pulling as hard as she could to tightened the makeshift tourniquet. "Because... because your beautiful James. You don't deserve this." He hand traveled to his jaw line, caressing it gently. "Promise me you'll never do this again."

James remained silent, closing his eyes at the touch.

"Promise me."

His eyes snapped open and he warmly smiled, "I promise you." He paused, taking in all of the information, "You care for me?"

She sighed, "Yes, I do. No matter how snide you can be in denying my obvious advances, some foolish part of m really loves you James."

He slowly took her in, "If I make it through this, we're going to start over again."

She grasped his hand in hers, "As long as you promise me, it's a deal." She paused, a devilish smirk crossing her face, "Are you sure you'd be able to accept a former blacksmith's wife?"

"Former?" He watched her as she rose to grab a bottle of brandy off of the bureau.

Elizabeth brought the brandy back to the bedside, pouring it generously on a rag from his shirt to clean his wounds. "Yes, former." She cleaned his arm up as best she could, "Promise me you'll make it through this James."

"For you?" His brows raised.

"Yes, James, for me."

James smiled, "Of course."


End file.
